In The Midst

In the midst of all my thoughts of you one thing still holds true,
You were never there and nothing will change my views,
All the memories you say we share aren’t vivid in my unconscious,
So in my eyes they either didn’t occur or are forever loss.
Over these many years you never thought to share with me your love,
Only the pains of maltreatment, love only from the heavens above. 
And in your absence I had to learn to walk before I crawled, 
This is not the right order this is why my being is so flawed,
Moments when I feel inferior to the languages described in affection,
Just me, my thoughts and being taught the wrong lessons….
In the midst I have learned and learning to love without your influence,
Of true support and many people to uplift me with real assurance.
This midst is clearing and I hope for your sake it clears your vision too,
I hate not to love you, but if I said I do love for you would be untrue!!